Heal Not Harm

Realistic and relatable. Encouragement, inspiration and healing with one positive word at a time. HEAL- Helping. Empower. All. Lives

Wise up – Wednesday — October 12, 2017

Wise up – Wednesday

 

Wisdom –  the quality or state of being wise;  knowledge of what is true or rightcoupled with just judgment as to action

Increased – to make greater, as in number, size, strength, or quality

Self – a person’s nature, character, etc – personal interest. a person or thing referred to with respect to complete individuality

Evolution – any process of formation or growth; development:

We can only go as low as our mind and circumstances allow, how long we stay in that low space is solely our choice. No one can keep you down even if they aided in knocking you down. We must be careful who we open and share ourselves with. when you allow/invite an individual (friend or significant other) into your life, now you are providing them with energy, room and time to get comfortable. If an individual is not stable themselves (emotionally, physically or financially) how could one possibly manage someone else?

Remember no one is obligated to do for ANYONE simply because the other party may express feeling entitled, especially before one have mastered doing for themselves. Once I realized my happiness was more important than the people that made me feel as if I had no choice but to be a crutch and or support them. I began to live a little, feeling a since of peace. Even if it meant less people in my life, I was finally content. Exercising the word “no” doesn’t make you a bad guy, giving until you’re now hindering yourself and enabling whomever; that’s a problem that you have now placed on yourself. The reason I chose the acronym for wise is because it speaks for itself. – Through life’s experiences we can grasp Wisdom + reality, how we obtain and display what we’ve learned is up to us. If I had a “friend” that I know is stealing from me and let’s add: always negative. I could A: accept that, it’s just who she is and ignore the situation or hide my purse and keep the conversation short. B: start a fb war or C: punch her in the face and possibly go to jail; D: apply my Wisdom … We shouldn’t practice hate regardless. Accept her for who she is and move on. {problem solved} I know it sounds crazy, however some people simply cannot help themselves because they may be mentally conflicted -– Same goes for an unhealthy relationship, how many bad examples are needed before one grasps that they can do and deserve better? Only things in life that we must understand and accept are; life, death and disappointments (their inevitable)

Once you increase your wisdom and apply it to yourself and EVOLVE within… You’ve Got this! Life can be hard however I truly believe we find comfort and pretending that we must accept people mess or that its ok to dwell in our own. Excuses are just admittance to failure. IF YOU KNEW BETTER, YOU’D DO BETTER!

mindful mondays: — October 10, 2017

mindful mondays:

Who you are vs them!

A lot of times we forget ourselves while remembering everyone else and their feelings. Often, we put too much consideration into what other’s perception of us may be. No one is perfect and everyone has a past; remember a saint was once a sinner who is saved by grace. Even if we’ve done some (frowned upon) things in our past, doesn’t mean we are entitled to settle or accept anyone’s mess. People seem to forget that we are not our actions or our past, if we’ve decided to change or grow for the better good. With enough love, self-evaluations, determination and being able to identify who we are individually; instead of focusing on what people want us to be. Changing who you are based on other’s actions will only hinder you, remember you never have to settle just because someone isn’t comfortable with who you are. Instead, focus on being the best individual you can me.

 

I can relate when it comes to being judge and judging others, being condemned for past mistakes or even current bad decisions is an uncomfortable feeling. It is always better to forgive and forget instead of dwell. The past cannot be changed however it can be learned from. For instance, I have experienced everything from being way too nice to simply and being taken advantage of; Time has taught me that I do not have to change the type of person I am, however I desperately need to change the type of people I use to associate myself with. Why should I make my heart empty or cold? Why should I remain out of character because of one or a few individuals? Me changing who I am will not fix who they are? If I watch one bad movie, yes; I’ve wasted my time but that’s not going to stop me from ever seeing another movie again. Same concept with dealing with people, fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me… yall know the rest..

 

So, the next time someone acts as if your obligated to tolerate their setbacks, remind yourself; You deserve to be treated how you treat others. Why should you accept less? Know the difference between a giver and a taker, a user and an abuser. You deserve happiness and that comes before anyone else’s, unless it’s the lord or your children/child.

 

Learn the difference between friends that just want to sit at the table and the ones who is willing to bring something to it. If helping someone else get what they want or need is taking from you, just think to yourself; would they do the same for me? Remember love yourself first and remember a mess will only attract another mess. Define who you are and what you’re and the rest will follow.

Check out my station, Mz Mic Cheq, on Anchor: https://anchor.fm/healnotharm?at=880588 — October 1, 2017
Mindful Monday’s: You’re never left out. — September 12, 2017

Mindful Monday’s: You’re never left out.

Keep your guards up when meeting new individuals, even with current in counters and especially when you don’t know their intentions?

It is easy to understand how feeling accepted or noticed, one may believe is worth everything even sacrificing or disregard to their respect. This is never the problem when one is confident and content with who they are and how they respond with others. The sense of belonging to something or one other than your mother, is a wonderful exhilarating feeling I can admit. Fitting in always feels more comfortable rather than the feeling of not belonging or being an outcast. Everyone loves attention and to be liked by their peers.

When I was young and use to get into trouble in school and my excuse was blaming everything on other classmates. My father use to ask me “Are you a follower or a leader?” Then he would say “ya a@# keep acting like a clown, those people you are running with are going to still be laughing; while their passing and you’re behind, failing.”  To this day what he said stuck with me, even though my father was in and out majority of my life. If I would’ve realized back then that running with a so-called crowd or trying to be accepted or validated by “kids” would only bring attention and drama. Back then I didn’t know myself to understand, what made me happy and probably different from everyone else was simply okay. I remember one time (in elementary school) I took change from (undisclosed location) probably a piggy bank my momma had around the house, being that I was a child in school without a job. I decided to go to school and pass out the quarters to the kids, mainly the ones that apparently ran the class vote of who or what was (in).

The moral of the story do not give your last or what you don’t have in attempt to please peers, because at the end when the thrill is gone; they will forget, move on and deny it ever happened… Just like in the adult world, never feel obligated to gain the approval of anyone unless it’s your children (even that has boundaries) or someone who determines your paycheck. People prey on weak minded individuals and will solicit for your friendship just to manipulate it to fit them. For instance, ever notice when you have a vehicle or access to transportation; peers come out of the wood works. Needing a ride, wanting to take trips but forget vehicles operate on gas not friendship.

Remember: You are unique for being yourself not for being able to benefit anyone else. Ever feel like you’ve outgrown your childish ways, however your (now) adult friends are still on the same high school days foolery. Don’t feel obligated to join or accept any one’s irresponsibleness, disregard for other feelings or ambitions. Even if peer pressure is present, remember you can be YOU on your own and the right likeminded individuals will eventually gravitate to you.

Triple T — September 6, 2017

Triple T

Triple T Tuesday- Tell the Truth

 

 

Have you determined whether you were a giver or receiver; sexually, financially or mentally?

It’s easy to get caught up solely focused on our own desires, wants or needs. Once you’re able to identify and differentiate between what you may or may not be willing to compromise. Fact is, some of the things we may deem as a necessity may pose as hindrance or simply a deal breaker for someone else.

Are you willing to give up a person, place or thing if it was required to receive true love or happiness?

A drug habit, exs, no good friends/associates or even forbidden places

Ask yourself, what am I willing to give up receiving love or partnership.

Am I ready to receive anyone into my life now, will I be putting them into any situations. This would be the perfect time to evaluate any baggage. Financially, are there any setbacks within? There is nothing wrong with requiring or simply having high expectations but only if you met them as well. Let’s be honest, everyone knows someone with a Beverly hills attitude but a ghetto financial mindset. It’s hard to convince a millionaire if you’re not making any sense.

I’ve learned situations/relationships always run more smoothly when I didn’t give too much nor demand, however I remained stern in what it was I expected. You can’t let your guard down and come off as possibly settling. Instead of being firm and comfortable on what is that one may want or is willing to put out. Sometimes we will lower our standards to make OUR EXPECTATIONS APPEAR MORE OBTAINABLE or to make the pickings seem less slim.

The only problem with settling is you will never be at your full potential or truly be able to identify the experience happiness. Once a person knows that you are only along for stability or realize they have something to hold over you, it becomes easier for the “takers” to manipulate and control the situation. It’s okay to be a giver long as you have boundaries. Never feel you must except the minimum of what someone may be willing to give. Set you’re the tone for what you want and how you want it.

“Mindful Monday 9/4/17” from Mz Mic Cheq on Anchor: https://anchor.fm/healnotharm/episodes/c8d610 — September 5, 2017
Motivational Mondays — September 4, 2017

Motivational Mondays

Mindful Monday
Be mindful of the situations and people you allow to penetrate your personal and mental space. It’s always best to distance yourself from distractions; to maintain and obtain clarity and be able to focus on your own life. Remember other people’s situation can affect your everyday life by simply turning them into your own situations. Is it just me or does everyone have that one or few individuals whom always seem to have something negative taking place in their lives, drama or “tea” that they want to discuss? 

Please believe if someone gossips with you, they gossip with them about you. (whoever they may be) 
I have been in plenty situations where someone’s problem became mine and vice versa. 

Ever been in a situation where a friend was homeless and now what seemed to be their problem is now your responsibility?

 

 I have learned though life’s experiences that everything that is good for the goose is not good for the gander. Often my associate’s problems became my own, first by becoming engaged into the conversation and then finding myself trying to solve a problem/situation that never involved me in the first place. I know firsthand that drama is a contagious vicious circle and when given the opportunity it can destroy families, friendships, relationships and ultimately happiness. 
One minute you’re just trying to be a friend and listen, then you find yourself giving what you felt to be sound advice or suggestions. Next thing you know; now you have someone mad or upset with you because you thought you were attempting to alleviate the situation, or maybe you were trying to stick up for your friend. There is nothing wrong with lending an ear to a friend, however that doesn’t mean one should feel obligated to place unnecessary strife amongst themselves. It’s okay to change the subject instead of succumbing to the situation at hand. Don’t be afraid to accept change even if that means outgrowing people you have known for years; some people accelerate in growth faster than others and that’s perfectly fine. It never pays off to sacrifice your growth and or happiness. The quicker we accept that yes, everyone needs to grow and deserve to succeed in life; however just because a person needs a change, change will not happen just because they want it to. Without self-motivation and ambition; as the saying goes “faith without works is dead.” If you allow, people will drain you of your sanity, happiness and peace of mind. Remember it’s not considered helping someone else by over extending yourself, attempting to help but instead becoming a hindrance to yourself.

How can one determine if an individual(s) is bad for your health, mental or physical? If the casual conversation doesn’t pertain to elevation or building and simple always revolving one’s personal issues and seem to always concern everyone else other than themselves… 9 times out of 10, they’re trouble and will eventually bring it to you. Never feel guilty for eliminating people from your “to do list” cause some people you just “don’t have to do” Meaning surround yourself with genuine love and support.
#mindful #motivationalmonday #healnotharm

“9/3/17 Service ❤️happy holidays” from Mz Mic Cheq on Anchor: https://anchor.fm/healnotharm/episodes/c81f40 — September 3, 2017
“God has your back” from Mz Mic Cheq on Anchor: https://anchor.fm/healnotharm/episodes/c3a654 — August 27, 2017
Check out this network: — August 23, 2017